So I grabbed that cool little mp3 thing off Amanda's blog. It doesn't exactly work like an iPod but it gets the job done. I only uploaded about 6 songs - think almost all of them are indie-labels, so you've probably never heard of them before.

Now I'm faced with a fairly large decision to make. I can either continue serving in the capacity I've been serving in for the past 2-3 years or I can move on to something entirely new. But considering all the factors and the current circumstances, I'm actually more inclined to moving on. I dunno. I'm still thinking out the various scenarios and consequences that would arise if I were to choose the latter option.

1) I will need to find somebody suitable to replace me. Which is a pain considering the high expectations I submit myself to.
2) I've spent 3 years helping this ministry to grow, from the chaotic 'anything goes' mentality towards a more exellence-oriented one, and even now the fruit is only barely showing. Leaving before my personal dreams for the ministry can be fulfilled isn't very appealing.
3) I want to make sure that I'm not doing this because I'm on an ego trip. The church has no place for ambition or petty politics.
4) I'm actually terrified of serving in this new area of service. I feel totally inexperienced and I'm not particularly confident of my abilities in this area. If I do this I really need God's empowerment. But then it's good right? There has to be less of me and more of Him as time goes by.

Interestingly all 4 points begin with 'I'. But like Winston said, sometimes we can't keep waiting for God to send a special calling to serve in ministry. He gave us the freedom to choose. And Winston's right in a sense. I don't think anybody ever felt a calling to be an usher or a counting steward (not that these ministries are any less worthy than the more prominent ones like pastoral ministries) At the end of the day it's about feeding His sheep and reaching His people, and I can't keep waiting for God to call me as if I were going into full-time ministry.

We'll see. I have until the Youth Leaders' Retreat to consider, but I'm giving myself a week. I'll never reach a decision if I can't decide by then.

posted by NEB at 2:42 AM

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